will I make it through the night?

the cravings have hit me full force....I really would love some Ben &Jerry's phish food right now. Fortunately there isn't any in the freezer, but there are plenty of other bad sweet things around here. It is times like this when it is the hardest to eat healthy. I start to try to rationalize that "just one little taste" won't hurt me.
I had this happen to me Saturday night too. Just as I was about to cave and grab the kids M&M's, I got a message from my nephew, William. He has started running 5k's and told me of a fun run/ walk in Raleigh that was taking place in a few weeks. He encouraged me to consider it and maybe work towards it. Now there is no way I would be able to do something like that right now, but it does appeal to me and maybe one day I'll be in shape enough to give it a try. Funny thing was that after reading the message and thinking about the possibility--I no longer had the urge for the sweets.
and now that I've written this ...my Ben & Jerry's craving is diminishing too......kind of funny....maybe I will make it through the night

anyone interested in joining me in a fun walk sometime?

Southern Sunday

Sunday dinners are a mixed blessing.

We eat with Mike's parents and so do several other family members. It is a lot of fun and we really enjoy each others company. I think back to the Sunday afternoons we would go to my grandparents and hope my kids grow up to have the same warm memories that I have. I believe that the love of family is one of God's greatest blessings.

However- Mike's family all have been given an extra gift in the kitchen. Everyone has the ability to cook awesome stuff. That is where the problem comes in. It is hard not to overeat when you are surrounded by mouthwatering stuff. It has gotten better in the last few years. Everyone seems to be trying to cook a little healthier lately, but you still have to deal with the quantity issue.(because even the healthy stuff tastes awesome).

I took a low-fat caramel pie and it was good. It was very hard, though, to pass up a taste of the chocolate cobbler and the pecan pie(but I did). Not to mention the main meal....

Overall I did alright. I guess I will just have to take it one Sunday at a time.

I hope I don't dream about chocolate cobbler tonight. :)

WOW! I am touched and humbled by all the support everyone has given.
It is a little scary posting my struggle for the world to see. It makes me feel very vulnerable at times. However, the response I've gotten has been a true blessing. It may sound silly, but every encouraging word I receive, makes me feel a little stronger and more determined. It is like I have my own cheer leading squad :)
and knowing I have followers, well that is an encouragement too and it is just so cool to see your little profile pics on the blog! :)

Thanks to all of you!

OK- so I knew better, I really really knew better but I did it anyway....stepped on those scales morning. How can an inanimate object cause so much emotional grief? It is enough to make a good girl want to say a few "not so nice" words.
No, my weight wasn't up, but it wasn't down the 10 lbs I expected it to be either. I mean c'mon, it has been TWO days. Two days of eating right and pushing the mega stroller up a mountain.
all kidding aside- I know it is going to take time and there are going to be ups and downs (though I hope they are mostly downs-if you know what I mean). It is amazing how slow time seems to move when you are losing weight and how fast it zooms with everything else.

Day 2:
8:30- I'm not sure how I got so heavy. Sometimes I feel like I just woke up that way one morning. I was physically active in high school and could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. I gained a little bit in my early college years, but I think I really started putting it on when I hit 20. I'm not sure why. Maybe my body changed or maybe I just got lazy.

I've been trying to lose weight for the past 20 years and have been moderately successful at times. I lost quite a bit on the First Place program at church one time and I also saw a nutritionist for a few years that helped me.

This past week, we had family pictures taken at the studio. I'm sure I will be shocked when I view them. For some reason, I don't see all the extra weight in the mirror or even the wrinkles. It usually takes a picture of for me to really see myself. I think that is true for a lot of people.
I think the thing that freaked me out the most, though, was the video camera. My folks bought a new one and were videoing Kent and I one morning. When they played it back for Kent to see.....well lets just say it was a very humbling experience for me.

Day one- August 25, 2009

Here I am, day one of a "lifestyle change" ( That is a nice way of saying "diet"). I've been down this road many, many times before and am just hoping that this is the time I will stay on it.

Thanks to a wonderful nutritionist I know what I'm supposed to eat. Knowing and doing are two different things though. I also know I need to exercise, unfortunately laundry, dishes, cooking and chasing a 4 & 2 year old all day doesn't count.

So....I went early to walk (before picking Holly up from school). With a 50lb double stroller and 75 lbs worth of kids I headed down the street near the elementary school. It was a nice walk and one I've made before. I just couldn't understand, though, how God managed to turn one of those streets into a giant hill in the blink of an eye. But God is full of miracles. And one of them turned out to be getting me and the cadaillac stroller to the top of the mountain (end of the street). The kids were still in it too!
I complained though! The whole way I grumbled and sweated. I made the statement that I was in terrible shape. I must have been talking out loud because my 4 year old said, " What??, Momma you don't even have a shape"

just another sign that, yes, it is time to lose this weight.